The Quest

How and why did I get into Coaching, why do I do what I do? What is my Calling and Mission, what is the Quest? 

For years, I have been part of a community, attempting to assist people to maintain their connection to something beyond us.

I began in my early twenties studying Nursing in Germany, then worked for the USAF on Ramstein AFB near Kaiserslautern, Germany, on a NATO base.  There I worked in Satcom, and received a commendation and small financial reward for a Training Manual I wrote while there. From there, we (ex-partner, daughter and I) moved to Vancouver, CA and after some odd jobs translating etc. and huffing and puffing it through, ended up owning two businesses with about 150 employees, many part-time or on call, we weren’t that big. After we burnt out from running them, and dealing with people and agencies, we were bought out in a somewhat, at the time, unbelievable sale (not in amount, but that it happened at all), which my ex somehow managed to get through and ended up being hired on as well by the regional (but one of the busiest in Canada due to rare water runway on the Fraser River and Chinese flight student contracts) airport which had bought our company. I worked in a relatively cushy position as an office manager, the previous OM was promoted to property manager (airports rent out a lot of space), and my ex was Security Consultant/Advisor. 

Now, I finally had time to develop what I had begun diving into years before, in Nursing, when I first began seeing, hearing, sensing and feeling things (before that I just “knew”) in other people – things I couldn’t have known.  Absolutely impossible to know. I had also met Mengele in the hospital in Günzburg, Germany where I studied Nursing, although the world thought him dead. No one believes me, and that is completely fine: some stories are not meant for everyone to know, or to experience themselves. However, I digress, that’s a different story, for a different time – but it cemented in me the belief that the world is not what it seems – AT ALL. 

I ended up going to Meditation classes, which opened my abilities, organized the first Soul Sail (now conducted on a regular in Halifax, NS in Canada by others, incl. one of the presenters on my initial sail) with a group of facilitators on a sail around beautiful Vancouver Harbour – I was a one-woman show and not one person helped, it was a mammoth undertaking – but I was also sponsored by a college with a holistic program. That experience burnt me out, was a financial disaster, I was fighting against the levels of resistance in my family and outside of it, for something I knew would be fantastic, and inspite of everything:  it was! People had a great time.  

I realized people do not want you to succeed.  It is the rare person in your life who will tell you “Go, I’ve got you” and actually back that up.  That is one of the reasons I give to the people who work with me so much now.  I know, exactly, what they are encountering. 

I dabbled with helping find downed planes, with CASARA (Civilian Air Search And Rescue) which was at our airport, and dove into remote viewing, and other fun activities. My private life spiralled down, my ex was competitive with me, amongst other things, and one morning when I walked out of our house and saw “her” car in our driveway, I was done.

My daughter was back in Germany on a sort of exchange year with her own family, she had forgotten German, and she needed that to connect with her family, plus it was an opportunity for myself and my ex to breathe and re-assemble, and to build a sane separation for her to return to. But before that, I traveled to take a moment to breathe, and spent time in Arizona, New Mexico and California, with friends who happened to be Navajo and had family on the reservation.  There I eventually spent some days in their family hogan under the stars with no artificial lighting or close neighbours by myself, with a wooden stove and an outdoor bathroom, and experienced something close to peace. I learned so much from them and their culture, which I am so grateful and honored to have been invited to experience – I carry so much with me today still. They embraced me as family, and for the first time in my life, I felt it. They encouraged me to own the title Medicine Woman.  

Things took off:  I ended up working with a group called Find Me, run by a retired DEA-Agent, finding missing people.  The group has found over 50 people last time I checked – over 50 people, which is amazing for the families involved.  Unfortunately, we couldn’t help everyone. But 50 more than what they would have found without us.  (I left the group five years ago). That led to a film contract for me, 1 of only 10 people out of a group of over 150 psychics, a fundraiser was held by Bruce Willis in NY for the group. This came about through Demi Moore, whose psychic worked with us – amongst other people with incredible and rare abilities. This group allowed me to meet and connect with genuine seers and learn about the work it takes to clarify your signal, and also learn about the hazy world of professional, authentic psychics, and the various institutions and agencies we can work for and with, although those very agencies traditionally turned around and denied, deflected, diffused or obfuscated. One of the cases, we can share:

I met with the producer for the documentary on her way from LA to NY at the LAX Encounter restaurant, and I could feel the jet turbines of my life whirring into the wind, gaining speed. At this point, I was being contacted by various agents, scouts and producers, who somehow had my contact details. For the most part, they seemed not trustworthy, but every or every other day, a call or email fluttered in – one group even went to my best friends house to suss her and me out, for a show. Another emailed from Florida, looking specifically for racially “diverse” (I love that term, but again, another topic). I am so beyond grateful now, that that all didn’t work out.  My guardian angel was looking out for me. 

I learned from many as much as I could, had my experiences, and took courses and certifications. Developed deeper in Shamanism. Sat for years in development circles. I applied for accreditations, and was recognized by two, three I applied to, and acknowledged, but turned down by one.

Things were tumbling now – although I had stuck my neck out for my ex and had helped him obtain a significant payout with which he was able to begin his new life, as quickly as opportunities arose for me, as quick was he to block and make sure I wasn’t able to take them.  He threw out everything I owned while I was gone on my re-orient trip. He had promised me before I left, that my things were safe, it was all for the best, we will stay friends, I should do this trip now and so on and so forth. I now literally had only my two suitcases I had traveled with. He denied this – saying he had given me a week’s notice – his email came while I was at a Pow-Wow in Alberquerque. I couldn’t get back in time, or organize anything quickly for all my things. A good acquaintance drove by and saved some of my most personally valuable things. 

Spirit had warned me this would happen, but I’m obviously human – so I couldn’t believe it was happening. Everything, everything I owned, a lifetime – sold, dumped, gone. An entire life in a dumpster he had gotten to clean out our house. He was upset with me because I had left, before he was truly ready with the new girlfriend… or old. His own Grandmother in Spirit gave me a nudge, and after airing some well-placed insights it turned out, he had been with her for quite a bit longer than what he had told me before. A few years longer, so that meant: while I had been entertaining his family who had come to visit every year, in the last visit staying three months, and while I was helping him run his dream business, and while taking care of the house and so many other things. I was devastated.

A mad dash from Canada back to Germany, where our families were seated, him trying to start a new life, me having to start a new life.

A couple in Spirit showed up in my living room one night, in the apartment I lived in with my daughter back in Germany now, which was across from a cemetery. I remember it clearly.  She short, him tall, dressed in old-fashioned clothes. They told me to go to a jeweler I had no idea existed, just down a couple streets. I went, but it was a modern jeweler, and I couldn’t imagine them meaning that one.  When I turned around, disappointed, I saw a crystal rock shop with a flyer for energy healing directly across the street.  Directly opposite.  Another exercise in trust. I went in and was guided to a bookstore in the town I again lived in.  I went to the bookstore, and the owners immediately set up a mediumship night, to replace a speaker who had canceled on them, because he said his guides had told him not to speak about money anymore, and it had been a seminar on money.  They didn’t tell people who had bought tickets to the event about the speaker change. Not one person of the 60 people there that night complained. Anyone that knows Germany, and southern Germany at that, knows that meant something. The spirit couple in my living room? The parents of the male half of the bookstore couple, they were buried in that very cemetery across from me.

That was the beginning, which led me to work in Austria, Switzerland and Germany. Live demonstrations of Mediumship, with group sizes which began to get a wee bit bigger than I sincerely wanted to energetically handle. I was (willingly, of course, but still. It was something I thought I had to do) in articles and write-ups, even in Denmark, with the Find Me Group. Jealousies arose, from friends, also other healers saying they couldn’t work in rooms after I worked them, because of all the spirits in there – like the spirits hung around strange rooms, and not the people they loved. They tried to blame me, for people simply being curious about me.  A handful of people were convinced what I did was fraudulent, but I was doing it in front of rooms of skeptical people I didn’t know, had never seen before, with no support, no backup. Nooooo onnnne. No personal assistant, no team, no friends, no family: Just me. People heard from long gone or recently gone relatives, with detailed, accurate messages, doing what I had been called and trained to do. Ridiculous nonsense sprang up. Everyone was now a medium too. I began to host smaller home groups.

And, I began to burnout. Again – disappointed in people, privately and professionally.  Every single person seemed to be set to oppose me for some weird reason, the stronger I had to be to face my life, the more they sought to bring me down.  I was also a single mom of a teenage daughter, who was naturally in complete opposition to me. I saw this time as a test.  I was given a lot, but a lot was also asked of me.  I began a teaching position at a major holistic school, an old renowned school of alternative healing, Paracelsus Schools. I also began taking Psychology.  A jealous, broken-hearted “friend” dragged me to court, based on the advice of another “friend”, so that I could learn my “lesson”. A major promoter in Switzerland tried to get closer than he should have. So that was that with that opportunity…very sad, because it was a big thing for me to lose, a huge opportunity, it would have catapulted me to be on a stage with Teal Swan and other such speakers, but I couldn’t.  I didn’t have the energy anymore to maintain all my lives, and all the directions it was all expanding into – by myself.

The list of events was endless during this time, so I will spare details – but it was strangely also a time Spirit really carried me and brought me places and taught me things I would have never dreamed of seeing or experiencing. I’ve met and continue to meet people, I would never have thought I would. All the stories… This is certainly not a world for the sensitive or the vulnerable, but it is one for the weak.

I had taken my work very seriously, I had to, to learn as much as I could in as short a time as possible.  I also had to live, and raise a teenaged daughter, and it was a tightrope I am still hyper conscious of today, and I continue to refuse to work for certain people. One of my group members at the time, drove by my house with his new witch-crafting girlfriend he was enamored with, to show her where I lived. She had been involved with a Turkish master Mage and was having some difficulty, as she believed him to be “working” her.  Anyone that knows me, knows that is not something I meddle with or that makes me happy.  At all. But I was consistently lumped in with those types – the level of ignorance to Consciousness was (and still is, to an extent) annoying and insufferable.

When others, which were many, didn’t take my work seriously and the work and investment it took to learn, I felt that.  I got tired of it all.  We all moved back to Canada again, but I knew that still wasn’t “home”.

The story is much longer of course, what drove me to take an extremely long break from working in person, but I’ll stop here.  It’s not that interesting anyhow, except of course to me. I began to work online, which for me, mitigated many of the issues that sensitive people have working in the world and with others.  Digital Nomadism had taken off, it was a new era, and working from a laptop on the beach in the jungle was the thing to do, a way to experience freedom away from the slave grind, and the utterly corrupted souls of those attached to the machine.

In 2020, at said beach in the jungle, I met a man who had a chip implant in his brain.  It was a big, hunking, curved piece, which curved over the top two halves of his brain.  I met him as part of the networking meet my ex (different one) was beginning to organize in the town we lived in. This man had achieved some success in the networking world, and I was asked to interview him for a Youtube channel, unfortunately only on marketing issues.  He was willing to privately answer my questions about his chip.

He had gotten into a serious car accident and had barely survived.  His body was not functioning anymore, some of his nerves were not communicating with his brain, amongst several other things… and a radical suggestion came, to implant and try out this new chip, and see how that would work.  So he did, and he firmly believes, that it saved his life. It communicates with his doctors, and they are able to monitor what is uploaded concerning his vitals, and read him, anywhere he is at any time, and communicate with other doctors remotely, if need be. It sounded so futuristic and sci-fi, but it was true.  It was a two-way street:  the doctors were also able to send impulses through the chip to his brain.  His body fought the chip though.  It fought hard, he ended up with Bell’s Palsy at one point, had to have several adjustment operations and his mind was confused for a while – but that is all years ago now, and now he is healthy and happy and back to normal. The chip is still in.

He made it harder for me, to be against something so seemingly wonderful.  But…. I don’t trust people. I trust Spirit.  It might be a flaw, sure, but I don’t really know one person who walks out of this world trusting people.  Dogs and cats yes, people? Trusting your own self is partly the reason for the entire industry of self-help.

Now, an article comes out, in the trickle of articles about the possibilities of AI. The article states that AI is able to read minds based on mri printouts.

What upsets me about this? Along with this?  or this?

For a long time, people like me were vilified. We tried, in so many ways, to assist people in finding their way back to their abilities, and of course, to learn more about and expand our own.  And learn the truth of how those abilities work. I know I’ve worked extremely hard, and know of others that do as well, and still do to support and maintain my connection. I’ve come a long way.

But we were seen, as frauds and hucksters, expected to perform at the crossing of the palm with silver, or the drop of a dime and a smirk of disdain. We were expected to walk on water, be perfect at all times in all ways, dehumanizing us in the process.  Either we were seen as the grandma who did tea leaves for the granddaughters, or completely exaggerated in the other direction that we are somehow gifted by God – and this is a real thing.  Even people that will say they don’t believe in God, will feel left behind and they neeeeeeed to hear:  “you can do this too” (which is true, but to an extent. Like I can sing (I can’t, lol) to an extent). They neeeed to say:  “I can do what you do.” But the truth is, they haven’t done what we’ve done.

The powers that be, have convinced everyone that a natural form of ESP (Extra Sensory Perception, including Telepathy) is bunk.

Now “they” came up with a way to do something – with tech – that they also claim doesn’t exist (because it would imply something they don’t want to think about), as Klaus Schwab let slip at a talk several years ago with Sergey Brin:

Now they have the first steps, it seems, of making this tech of thought policing come about. Of course, it will be sold as beneficial:  to control thoughts of crime, help the mentally unwell, curb fanatism, and other good things – maybe teaching will be downloaded, etc.  What they won’t mention, is the thoughtcrime and thought policing part. Now, it is suddenly possible for humanity to be telepathic, under the direction and control however, of tech

I teach telepathy in my classes, which have been ongoing since 2012, and I haven‘t had one group with no hits yet.

The difference between the natural and the unnatural?

The natural way will always, always teach you to empathize and truly connect on a compassionate level.  If you violate this, by nature of the way our energy works, you will be harmed as well.

The technological version is not concerned with heart evolution. You are only permitted to see and believe what is natural around you and me and within yourself, if The Powers That Be have themselves come to terms with it, in other words:  found a way to commodify and/or control.

This is what concerns me the most about AI.  It is our inclination, to always hand over the wheel.  It is what WE will make of AI that concerns me, for example: nothing being believed unless vetted by AI and so in effect, raising AI to God-like status. Meanwhile, AI still can’t draw hands or teeth.  AI makes a lot of coding gibberish actual coders have to catch, so when it comes to medical ability, I don’t trust it there either. But newspaper articles like this one are coming out now too:

I recommend to people intensely:  Don’t buy fully into these kind of shortcuts, they always have a price – usually a bigger price than the work they saved you from.  They are wonderful playthings, but I’m not sure it is a great idea to continue to invest in this as a viable future for us. It is always worth it, to make the effort to scale the mountain to face your personal Guru.  Easy is not best. Make the effort. Take the Road Less Traveled my friends, the payoff will be unbelievable to you. Much of what we do, at the basis of it all, even all our inventions, is to avoid Pain. I learned that Pain though, like Time, can be a most valuable Teacher, Healer and even Friend and is best not avoided. If we avoid it, and don’t work with it, it can lead to much more and longer lasting Pain.

I coach to help people re-align to their true Nature, to discover the inherent power in their Being.  I coach to support and to walk some difficult paths with people, because others have walked difficult paths with me.  I coach, to make my contribution to maintaining humanity. I coach, because I believe in God. 

Which is also why I am offering the webinar below on Healing Pain, condensing most of what I have learned through others, personal experiences and insights. With a live demonstration in the Webinar of one chosen person. Join us. It’s not just for people who are in physical pain, but also emotional, or even spiritual pain.  And also for those who work with people, or would like to help someone. See you there. 


Leave a Reply